Food Battles

Some of my finer moments, natch.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with my weight. As a younger kid I was more active than as I grew older. I played softball, volleyball, danced, and did gymnastics for years. I also dabbled in basketball, but we were not meant to be mates. Some people just rub each other the wrong way, you know? Once I hit high school, I did marching band and theatre, which are pretty intense if you haven’t participated, but then it leveled off. Sure enough college rolled around and now you’re in charge of your own life, your own decisions, including how much you exercise and what you’re shoving down your face at 2am just because. Hint: my answers include not at all and everything I can, respectively.

Now that I’m out of college, again, and supposed to be more adult-like, I feel like I need to take more responsibility for what I’m using to fuel my body and soul. I heard something recently that was to the effect of “don’t eat anything that you wouldn’t feed to the child version of yourself,” which I think is a very interesting take on nourishment. Sometimes we’re so busy that we’ll eat anything, but would you feed your kids or the childhood version of yourself the same crap you shovel down? I hope that I wouldn’t, so that probably means I need to change my intake.

I’m an overeater. I’m terrible at listening to the signals that my body puts out. I eat quickly, so that I can eat as much as I can before I feel full. Not that it matters, because I just keep eating until I hate myself. I also for some reason have this fear that I’ll never be able to eat this same food again, so I feel like I need to eat all of it. Like for some reason the concept of refrigeration and reheating are lost on my dismissed mental capacities.

I have trigger foods that I try to avoid. They typically incur a disastrous chain of events that lead me to feeling large, depressed, and full of self loathing. So I’m working of that. I don’t have a strong background of healthy eating , but I can’t blame that on my poor choices, because they are my choices. I’m hoping to use this down time that I have to develop a working relationship with food and my body. I’m aiming for a working relationship because I know that saying I want a good or healthy relationship will take more time and work than I have right now. I know I need to retrain my body and mind to listen, and think, and feel, instead of just devouring. I’m positive that it won’t be easy, but I know it needs to happen.

Do you have any healthy eating battles? How did you work to overcome them? Or, what is your plan to overcome them?

xoxo

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