Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

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Somehow this doesn't seem right...

There’s really no other way to describe my less than enthused attitude than laziness. On the days that I don’t work or don’t work a full twelve hours, I have adequate time to squeeze in some fitness. Do I do it? No. I don’t. I need some help. I have some kind of mental block. I will literally sit in the house for hours, deliberating on going out for a jog or doing some kind of at home workout. Hell, I could do some barre stretches or yoga, I love those things! But I don’t do them. All I need to do is get dressed and move but for some reason I never bring myself to do it. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard, but rarely do I regret working up a sweat. Not sure what my problem is.

In other news, ballet and tap are going well. Meghan has us trying for double pirouettes now. Haven’t been able to complete any but I think I did a couple 1.5ers. We are doing more complex barre combinations that have been good and bad. The ones I get I like, but the ones I struggle with I feel frustrated and want to do them over. There have also been a couple of across the floor combinations where I just stop, which is bad, because I can’t remember which way to turn or something silly, when it doesn’t matter and I should just turn. Actually, now that I think about it, I got pretty frustrated in tap and ballet this week. But I guess it’s a sign of improvement if I don’t chuck the whole class as a loss just because of some flubs, right?

So back to motivation. I was so inspired by the runners at the Iron Horse. I have been inspired by my coworkers, who exercise even on days where we work 12-13 hours. I am inspired by my dance classmates, by the dancer blogs that I follow, and the fitness bloggers that I follow. I want to do better in my classes, I want to feel more fit and healthy, I want to have better endurance and strength to provide for my patients. So why don’t I do anything about it? I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m afraid that I will fail or afraid that I will succeed. Am I afraid that people will criticize? That they will laugh or talk behind my back? I don’t know. Those thoughts don’t enter my mind directly but I worry they are simmering in the background and influencing my choices. I know I shouldn’t give a single fuck about what other people think, but I can’t help but worry that these irrational and petty fears are what hold me back from myself.

How do you get or stay motivated? Have you ever had a serious mental block that held up your training or progress? Does fear show up in your periphery? Or are you just an all around badass and liver of life?

xoxo

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2 thoughts on “Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

  1. Le Charlotte says:

    What I wish I could do is to let you feel what a super fit body feels like- the ease of everyday work and the energy- and I know motivation would be less of an issue. And maybe you’re thinking “But Charlotte, you’re riddled with injury” and all I can say back is “Yes, BUT that’s because I rode around like a wild child for years and years and years and broke many bones”. That being said, I do struggle when I get to a point that I feel burned out on a particular activity. As the winter months come on the gym becomes more attractive to me as a means to escape the outdoors but muscle work in the summertime is a real chore. It’s nice to have a change of scenery too, say go run the legacy trail or running in the gorge (which btw is always fantastic and if you ever wanted to try running or walking in the gorge alls you need to do is get at a bitch). On really hard days, I just say to myself, “All you have to do is go out and run one mile and if at the end of that mile you want to quit, then you can quit” but on fewer occasions than I can count on one hand, have I quit.

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