Temperature

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Why yes I did paint my nails just for you.

I’m never cold at work. I’m mostly swearing sweating at work. But of course the day I don’t bring a scrub jacket or wear a long sleeve shirt I’m freezing my ass off. I even drank hot coffee today. I drink iced coffee year round because I’m almost always perspiring. Geez. What is this, bizarro day?

xoxo

Phew

Our recital costumes came in last week. Cool right? Except that the top of my leotard wasn’t covering, oh, the top third of my bra. No bueno. So I immediately go into panic mode: searching for long sleeve nude leos, camisole nude leos (that will actually fit), nude sports bras, dance bras (that will actually cover my bra requiring area, do you see the trend yet?), breast reduction, etc., etc. Then I remember that my mom’s neighbor is a seamstress, so I hit them up for some help.

I had found some diy stuff but was unwilling to cut my already paid for costume that I would undoubtedly ruin and still need to wear, so I sought the help of a professional. She basically did this, but at the seam of the leo, because of course it’s blue velvet and white lycra, thus increasing my chances of ruining it. It is so much better!!! And I will hopefully not be suffering any wardrobe malfunctions, at least not for that reason.

It is ridiculously difficult to find dancewear for a large bust. I’m not saying I’m not large in other areas too, but this is my most difficult body section to fit. Discount dance has about three plus size leotards, and they’re all the same. I wish I could wear the cool and beautiful leotards that normal people wear. Le sigh.

More recital news to come! Plus possibly pictures!

xoxo

Seizing, But Not in a Seizure Kind of Way

So I’m talking with this friend, whom I always talk to about shit like this, and I realize that I’m cheating myself and taking this whole life experience for granted. Instead of embracing all the wonder and amazingness that I can grab, I flit around afraid of stupid shit and making excuses. Why? Why? I don’t know why, but I want to change it.

We’ve had our share of sad and tragic stories on the unit. Young people who are supposed to have their whole lives ahead of them are robbed of limbs, independence, or life itself. It’s terrible. But it can surely light a fire under your ass if you’re slacking or questioning, “what’s the point?”

What’s the point of running a mile every day?
To build up some fitness. To build up some endurance. To help me do the dancing that I love to do. To pump my blood and exercise my body. To help my body be able to carry itself easier and with purpose. To use the legs that I still have. To not take for granted the fact that I am here and I am alive. So that the next time you ask me, “how’s your 5280 going?” I don’t have to laugh and shake my head, admitting that I failed three days in.

So I’m going to do it. I’m going to seize the day, the opportunity, this experience, this life. And it’s going to be great. Who’s with me?

xoxo

G-L-O-R-I-A GLOOOOORIIAAAAA

I went for my 5280 foot jog today when I got home from my certification (TNCC certified bitches!), hoping to beat the brunt of the rain. Guess what happened? I got flipping rained on. And not just a little bit. A LOT. Torrential downpour. Gale force winds. Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria! I thought I would feel invigorated and glorious (hence the title), but I just felt wet. And cold. And tired. But I did it I guess. Yay?

I’m trying to figure out when I should do this venture tomorrow. Before work it’s pretty dark. After work it’s pretty dark AND I’m tired. Hmmmmm decisions, decisions.

xoxo

What is 5280?

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Answer: how many feet are in a mile.

I jogged one mile today. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t fast. But I jogged the whole thing. And I’m going to do it again tomorrow. And the next day. Until it sticks.

Humph.

Hooray for stubbornness.

xoxo

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

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Somehow this doesn't seem right...

There’s really no other way to describe my less than enthused attitude than laziness. On the days that I don’t work or don’t work a full twelve hours, I have adequate time to squeeze in some fitness. Do I do it? No. I don’t. I need some help. I have some kind of mental block. I will literally sit in the house for hours, deliberating on going out for a jog or doing some kind of at home workout. Hell, I could do some barre stretches or yoga, I love those things! But I don’t do them. All I need to do is get dressed and move but for some reason I never bring myself to do it. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard, but rarely do I regret working up a sweat. Not sure what my problem is.

In other news, ballet and tap are going well. Meghan has us trying for double pirouettes now. Haven’t been able to complete any but I think I did a couple 1.5ers. We are doing more complex barre combinations that have been good and bad. The ones I get I like, but the ones I struggle with I feel frustrated and want to do them over. There have also been a couple of across the floor combinations where I just stop, which is bad, because I can’t remember which way to turn or something silly, when it doesn’t matter and I should just turn. Actually, now that I think about it, I got pretty frustrated in tap and ballet this week. But I guess it’s a sign of improvement if I don’t chuck the whole class as a loss just because of some flubs, right?

So back to motivation. I was so inspired by the runners at the Iron Horse. I have been inspired by my coworkers, who exercise even on days where we work 12-13 hours. I am inspired by my dance classmates, by the dancer blogs that I follow, and the fitness bloggers that I follow. I want to do better in my classes, I want to feel more fit and healthy, I want to have better endurance and strength to provide for my patients. So why don’t I do anything about it? I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m afraid that I will fail or afraid that I will succeed. Am I afraid that people will criticize? That they will laugh or talk behind my back? I don’t know. Those thoughts don’t enter my mind directly but I worry they are simmering in the background and influencing my choices. I know I shouldn’t give a single fuck about what other people think, but I can’t help but worry that these irrational and petty fears are what hold me back from myself.

How do you get or stay motivated? Have you ever had a serious mental block that held up your training or progress? Does fear show up in your periphery? Or are you just an all around badass and liver of life?

xoxo

Tappity Tap Taperoo

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I know I talk about ballet a lot on here, but I truly love my tap classes as well. I love how difficult it is, even though it seems deceptively simple. I love that you essentially have to teach yourself, since it’s mostly just foot movements. And you have to think of your foot as two separate pieces, a toe and a heel, but you can’t think about it too much because if you get in your head you’ll get stuck.

While I have taken ballet before and am returning to it as an adult, I have never taken a tap class before that I can remember. Having a background in dance helps with combinations, but that’s about it. So I was looking for some YouTube videos to supplement my one hour a week and I stumble on this series from Mahalo. They were actually really instructional, as opposed to the tens of videos of tweens tapping around in their bedroom gushing about One Direction.

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Anyway, I saw in one of the videos that there is an app, so I go to check that out and it’s $1.99 for like 80 some videos, including combinations for each level. Beginner, intermediate, and advanced with sections on time steps, riffs and more. There are 8 “chapters”, the first being intro and warm up, the second being beginner, etc. I figure $2 is worth having all the videos organized. Plus it keeps track of the ones you do and has a progress bar. Neat.

You also have the option of downloading the videos to work on them offline. Needless to say after all that, I bought the app and then pranced around in my tap shoes for an hour. Mostly because I didn’t feel like running. Yayyyyy ineffective cardio.

Now I want MOAR TAP SHOES!!!!

xoxo

It’s coming. It’s coming. It’s coming.

Season two of city.ballet!

Please believe I consumed all of season one in one sitting. Not difficult. Each episode is like six minutes long. But it’s a behind the scenes look at the New York City Ballet (aka, City Ballet, duh) dancers. Season one goes through the ranks and then has special focus on Swan Lake and other features. I devoured this. I’ve never seen a high profile ballet company perform live, but I’m obsessed with City Ballet. More Balanchine is always a good thing. And I especially loved Strictly Ballet, which followed students at the School of American Ballet, the school that feeds into NYCB.

Man, if I had known that ballet could be a job when I was younger I wonder if things would have turned out differently. Would I have quit? Why did I quit? I know I was more interested in gymnastics for a while but still… Anyway, woulda shoulda couldas will eat me up so let’s move on.

I first became interested in City Ballet when I started reading dancer biographies. Allegra Kent and Gelsey Kirkland were the first two I picked up. I had just discovered I could order used books on Amazon for like 10 cents, so my collection expanded rather quickly.

Anyway. I’m pumped for more ballet behind the scenes. Especially if I can watch Sara Mearns do her hair some more. I swear she’s magic.

xoxo

Workin’ for the Weekend

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Heyyyyyy Misty

Yay! Class was much better on Thursday. Not perfect, but much better. Tried to do a couple of doubles during pirouettes, but I was seized by an irrational fear that someone would see me. Yeah I know, someone might see me? In a class that I take where I dance around? I said it was irrational. Anyway, they didn’t happen. Maybe next week.

I also have this other irrational fear when I’m the only person in a public bathroom, I am convinced it’s a men’s room. Don’t ask me why. Like I said, irrational.

Ankle has been fine. It hurts when I come home from work, but after 13 hours on my feet what doesn’t hurt? Exactly. I ran once this week. I might venture out tomorrow. Maybe not. I’ve been doing more yoga (in my new “studio”) and I contribute my lack of leg pain and better sleep with that habit. Kind of a good habit to pick up if those are the side effects I would think…

Joel is gearing up for the Iron Horse Half Marathon in a couple of weeks, which you may remember I completed last year. It’s a tough course but he has been training much more consistently than I had. I’m sure that he will do GREAT! I, however, have zero desire to run 13 miles anytime in the near future. I would much rather go to my little dance classes, thank you very much.

Speaking of which, why do I keep looking at these tap shoes that cost >$200?? I take one hour of class a week!! What kind of tapping do I think I’m going to be doing with these badass tap shoes!? Delusional, I tell you. Delusional.

Maybe if I just channeled Sutton…

xoxo

Sometimes You’re Off

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Sometimes your cat sleeps like it's dead...

Class on Friday was not that great. I kept forgetting what we were doing at the barre, and then I could barely do any of the jump or center combinations correctly. I blame it on having a pretty rough work week the three days before class. Have you ever been work hung over? Because I definitely have. And the struggle is real.

I tried not to get discouraged. At least I didn’t fall or anything. It was just very difficult for my brain to connect with my body. For example we were doing a combination that went from an arabesque, to fondue, followed by pas de bourée to transition to the other side. In my mind I know that pas de bourée goes, “back, side, front” but for the life of me I could not execute those steps in that order. I was literally all over the place. At the end of class I expressed my luckiness that there were only two of us so that more people didn’t have to witness my shambles. My teacher told me not to get discouraged as well, and that people have “off” classes all the time. I guess it’s like a bad run. You just have to push through and hope the next one is better.

In other news, the weather has been marvelous lately, which means my sinuses are awful since I’ve been out in it. So now I’m off to buy more decongestant, get an allergy shot, and possibly go for a run.

xoxo

Yes?

Can someone tell me how to do this many pirouettes? Because she does like a million…
http://youtu.be/ZRnZjTvMaT4

Class went well today. We could all tell that we were tired and our bodies were not used to two classes in two days. But I could imagine how much better we would get if we did have two classes a week. I might even be able to nail some doubles or get a more respectable height in my arabesque. Hey, I can dream right?

xoxo

Improvement

Just a quick update, I wore my goofy brace thing to ballet and my ankle didn’t hurt! It was a little sore in the beginning but no acute pain like before. I did skip a run today though since I was extra worried about it.

I love that we are at a point in our class where we can actually dance a little bit in our combinations. We do this little bourée, pique, arabesque then windmill arm thing that is magic. I like slow stuff because I’m fat and my body wasn’t built for petite allegro. Grand allegro on the other hand is my jam. I will grand jete right into next Tuesday.

xoxo

Lessons For the Road

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I can't wait to get on the road again...NOT

All I want is a “hey thanks” wave when I let you in. Have we reached a point in society where we can’t even be bothered to throw our hand up in our car or stick it out the window if it’s that kind of weather? I DIDN’T HAVE TO LET YOU IN YOU KNOW.

Geez.

Acknowledge the non-shittiness of your fellow travelers. It’s our privilege, not our right. And use your turn signals while you’re at it.

(hops off soapbox…)

xoxo

Under Pressure

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Recovery!

Skipped a run today since my ankle was a teensy bit sore and I wanted to make sure I could make it though two days of ballet. Tap was fine. Ran on Saturday and it was sore for the wedding but feeling much better than previous activity laden days. Basically I spent all day today obsessing over it. And then searching for compression socks online. I’ve got several pairs that I wear to work but haven’t found my magic pair yet. Here’s hoping…

xoxo

Oh Shoot it Hurts

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Beautiful flowers from a country wedding this weekend

So a few ballet classes ago I was coming down from a grande jete and my left ankle kind of twinged. I don’t know if I landed on it won’t or what because I didn’t feel any kind of pop or twist. But it was fine the next day. Then when I came to class next week I did it again, on the first grande jete, same pain, no other injury or anything. But this second time it didn’t get better the next day, in fact it was sore all week and hasn’t stopped being sore. Sometimes it feels okay but I can’t quite pin point what’s wrong. Ibuprofen and ice helps. Braces and compression help sometimes. But I keep running on it so I’m sure that’s not helping. Womp womp. No ballet this past week so maybe it will be better for our double classes this coming week.

Tap started again! That definitely hurt when I got home. But it was good times. All kinds of dance this week.

I figured out how I can enjoy running! I put on headphones, jam to my music, and don’t give a shit about how fast I’m running. Did wonders for my psyche. Plus I just kind of danced around for an hour. Yipee!

xoxo