Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

image

Somehow this doesn't seem right...

There’s really no other way to describe my less than enthused attitude than laziness. On the days that I don’t work or don’t work a full twelve hours, I have adequate time to squeeze in some fitness. Do I do it? No. I don’t. I need some help. I have some kind of mental block. I will literally sit in the house for hours, deliberating on going out for a jog or doing some kind of at home workout. Hell, I could do some barre stretches or yoga, I love those things! But I don’t do them. All I need to do is get dressed and move but for some reason I never bring myself to do it. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard, but rarely do I regret working up a sweat. Not sure what my problem is.

In other news, ballet and tap are going well. Meghan has us trying for double pirouettes now. Haven’t been able to complete any but I think I did a couple 1.5ers. We are doing more complex barre combinations that have been good and bad. The ones I get I like, but the ones I struggle with I feel frustrated and want to do them over. There have also been a couple of across the floor combinations where I just stop, which is bad, because I can’t remember which way to turn or something silly, when it doesn’t matter and I should just turn. Actually, now that I think about it, I got pretty frustrated in tap and ballet this week. But I guess it’s a sign of improvement if I don’t chuck the whole class as a loss just because of some flubs, right?

So back to motivation. I was so inspired by the runners at the Iron Horse. I have been inspired by my coworkers, who exercise even on days where we work 12-13 hours. I am inspired by my dance classmates, by the dancer blogs that I follow, and the fitness bloggers that I follow. I want to do better in my classes, I want to feel more fit and healthy, I want to have better endurance and strength to provide for my patients. So why don’t I do anything about it? I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m afraid that I will fail or afraid that I will succeed. Am I afraid that people will criticize? That they will laugh or talk behind my back? I don’t know. Those thoughts don’t enter my mind directly but I worry they are simmering in the background and influencing my choices. I know I shouldn’t give a single fuck about what other people think, but I can’t help but worry that these irrational and petty fears are what hold me back from myself.

How do you get or stay motivated? Have you ever had a serious mental block that held up your training or progress? Does fear show up in your periphery? Or are you just an all around badass and liver of life?

xoxo

Advertisements

Tappity Tap Taperoo

IMG_0130.JPG
[source]

I know I talk about ballet a lot on here, but I truly love my tap classes as well. I love how difficult it is, even though it seems deceptively simple. I love that you essentially have to teach yourself, since it’s mostly just foot movements. And you have to think of your foot as two separate pieces, a toe and a heel, but you can’t think about it too much because if you get in your head you’ll get stuck.

While I have taken ballet before and am returning to it as an adult, I have never taken a tap class before that I can remember. Having a background in dance helps with combinations, but that’s about it. So I was looking for some YouTube videos to supplement my one hour a week and I stumble on this series from Mahalo. They were actually really instructional, as opposed to the tens of videos of tweens tapping around in their bedroom gushing about One Direction.

IMG_0129.JPG
[source]

Anyway, I saw in one of the videos that there is an app, so I go to check that out and it’s $1.99 for like 80 some videos, including combinations for each level. Beginner, intermediate, and advanced with sections on time steps, riffs and more. There are 8 “chapters”, the first being intro and warm up, the second being beginner, etc. I figure $2 is worth having all the videos organized. Plus it keeps track of the ones you do and has a progress bar. Neat.

You also have the option of downloading the videos to work on them offline. Needless to say after all that, I bought the app and then pranced around in my tap shoes for an hour. Mostly because I didn’t feel like running. Yayyyyy ineffective cardio.

Now I want MOAR TAP SHOES!!!!

xoxo

Workin’ for the Weekend

image

Heyyyyyy Misty

Yay! Class was much better on Thursday. Not perfect, but much better. Tried to do a couple of doubles during pirouettes, but I was seized by an irrational fear that someone would see me. Yeah I know, someone might see me? In a class that I take where I dance around? I said it was irrational. Anyway, they didn’t happen. Maybe next week.

I also have this other irrational fear when I’m the only person in a public bathroom, I am convinced it’s a men’s room. Don’t ask me why. Like I said, irrational.

Ankle has been fine. It hurts when I come home from work, but after 13 hours on my feet what doesn’t hurt? Exactly. I ran once this week. I might venture out tomorrow. Maybe not. I’ve been doing more yoga (in my new “studio”) and I contribute my lack of leg pain and better sleep with that habit. Kind of a good habit to pick up if those are the side effects I would think…

Joel is gearing up for the Iron Horse Half Marathon in a couple of weeks, which you may remember I completed last year. It’s a tough course but he has been training much more consistently than I had. I’m sure that he will do GREAT! I, however, have zero desire to run 13 miles anytime in the near future. I would much rather go to my little dance classes, thank you very much.

Speaking of which, why do I keep looking at these tap shoes that cost >$200?? I take one hour of class a week!! What kind of tapping do I think I’m going to be doing with these badass tap shoes!? Delusional, I tell you. Delusional.

Maybe if I just channeled Sutton…

xoxo

Oh Shoot it Hurts

image

Beautiful flowers from a country wedding this weekend

So a few ballet classes ago I was coming down from a grande jete and my left ankle kind of twinged. I don’t know if I landed on it won’t or what because I didn’t feel any kind of pop or twist. But it was fine the next day. Then when I came to class next week I did it again, on the first grande jete, same pain, no other injury or anything. But this second time it didn’t get better the next day, in fact it was sore all week and hasn’t stopped being sore. Sometimes it feels okay but I can’t quite pin point what’s wrong. Ibuprofen and ice helps. Braces and compression help sometimes. But I keep running on it so I’m sure that’s not helping. Womp womp. No ballet this past week so maybe it will be better for our double classes this coming week.

Tap started again! That definitely hurt when I got home. But it was good times. All kinds of dance this week.

I figured out how I can enjoy running! I put on headphones, jam to my music, and don’t give a shit about how fast I’m running. Did wonders for my psyche. Plus I just kind of danced around for an hour. Yipee!

xoxo

Candy in My Heels

20140620-223241-81161230.jpg
*My formerly squeaky clean slippers! Although since they are leather they are still actually squeaky…*

Man did I have a great dance week! On Monday for jazz and tap we didn’t have our regular instructor, which would normally make me nervous, but the owner of the studio taught our class and it was great. It really reminded me of classes that I remember, instead of just learning a routine, which makes me think of a rehearsal. So the talented Clemmy Ann ran us through a thirty minute warm up, then we worked on jazz pirouettes, then tap fundamentals. Having some structure was really great for everyone, and Clemmy Ann is a very passionate teacher.

What I think we really liked about the tap portion was that she would teach us a step and then we could add on, whereas our regular teacher just kind of teaches us a dance routine and peppers some instruction in there. This way we felt like we really learned something, instead of a combination where we don’t actually know any of the names of the moves.

And then Thursday came and I had BALLET!!

I loved ballet. Although it really wasn’t what I remembered… So let me clarify the last time I took a ballet class… I went to Indiana University for one year, prior to transferring to Purdue University, from where I would eventually graduate. Indiana has an amazing dance program (Violette Verdy, hello!) to go along with the rest of their incredible performing and fine arts programs. I mean, they even mention it in Center Stage so it has to be legit right!?

So the last time I took a ballet class (some, ahem, ten or so years ago), it was in a place that looked like this:

*actually, I couldn’t find a good picture so I found an actual video filmed in IU’s studios*

So that’s why I was a little taken aback when some people had to use chairs because there were only two portable barres, which did not have enough space for everyone.

20140620-222603-80763068.jpg
*This our actual studio, with one of the portables. Source.*

Then I thought about it and realized I was being a little judgmental. The floor is fine, there are enough mirrors for people who want to use them (I avoid them, personally), and what does it matter anyway? I still think it’s weird that the “studio” is in front of an office incubator, but it will be fine for my first foray back into this crazy world. I know it’s mean to already be planning to switch studios, but maybe I’ll change my mind after the next seven weeks.

My reasons for choosing this studio in the first place were: 1. It has a summer class, 2. It has a true beginners class, 3. It’s for adults, 4. The owner is a friend of a friend. I’m wary of taking an adult open class because if I’m the only beginner I’ll get overwhelmed. Then frustrated. Then I’ll cry. So maybe I’ll take those classes after this. Or maybe I’ll just try to take privates somewhere. But the kind of education that I want may need to come from the actual ballet schools here. There are two that are home to actual companies. Hell, maybe I’ll just take class with the kids. But let’s get through the summer first!

xoxo

Also, the title of the blog actually comes from Center Stage. The song “Canned Heat” from the final number was interpreted by my friend and I as “got candy in my heels tonight baby!” We are special.